


The Beholders

by AuthorByNight



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Constructive Criticism Welcome, F/M, Gen, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-07 09:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4258368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorByNight/pseuds/AuthorByNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For better or worse, Remus and Tonks didn't always know how to see themselves. At their worst, they were too similar for comfort, yet too<br/>different to grasp. At their best, they were deeply in love, and that was all that mattered. Who they were, then, was in the eye of their beholders.</p><p>(Originally written for the rt_morelove challenge on Livejournal.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sirius

_Early December, 1995_

Sirius was bored, to begin with.

Had he been more entertained, he wouldn't have cared that much. But there was little to do in a lonely, dark house, and if he had to choose between being angry and being amused, it was better to choose amusement, wasn't it?

But he needed co-conspirators, which proved hard to find. Kingsley liked the idea, but his hands were full. Bill was busy with Fleur Delacour when he wasn't on Order duty. Arthur, Ted and Emmaline were only casually interested. Andromeda thought finding a boyfriend for her daughter sounded "too Jane Austen." Molly and Hestia, on the other hand...

"Oh, Remus is so lonely, too!" Molly burst out. "He could use some love in his life."

"He's not like some of Tonks's exes," Hestia added. "There was this one bloke, John Dawlish's son actually... I hated him. We both cried when they broke up, except mine were tears of joy."

"And they say you're sweet," Sirius muttered. Hestia smiled innocently.

Sirius wasn't sure what it was about them that had made him think they'd be a good match; perhaps it was their similar personalities - it wasn't obvious to everyone, but Sirius saw a bit of each of them in each other. Besides, while all of the Order members were friendly, Remus seemed closest to Tonks. She made happy - no, not happy. Joyful. The way Sirius had felt when he'd had his first real conversation with Harry. Remus deserved a bit more of that.

"So it's settled," Molly agreed. "Only one thing - do you think they'd mind the age difference?"

"Deep down, Remus is still a very young man," Sirius assured her. "And Tonks, believe it or not, is beyond her years. No, it won't make any difference."

"Just don't do anything... rash," Molly told Sirius.

Hestia shook her head at Molly, but Sirius was too distracted to care about her mollycoddling, for once.

 

Sirius first tried by talking to Remus about Tonks. As it turned out, he didn't quite know how to approach the subject.

"So, Tonks," Sirius said one afternoon as they ate in the kitchen.

Remus almost dropped the coffee cup he was holding. "What about her?"

"What do you think of her?"

"She's nice. You're not - you don't fancy her, do you?"

"No," Sirius said.

Remus was peering closely. "If you're sure..."

"We're family, remember? She probably thinks of me as her uncle."

Remus pulled a face. "Don't say that."

It occurred to Sirius that for his purposes, that was the wrong analogy. "You're right, more like a much older brother. Do you think I'm a brother to her?"

"She's certainly fond of you. So Dumbledore wanted me to ask you..."

Hestia and Molly reported that their probing hadn't gone anywhere either; in the end, they decided it would be best to set up an old fashioned blind date. So the next time Sirius got Remus alone - in the family room, this time, sitting at the chess table - he said, "by the way, Molly and I were talking-"

"-without bickering?"

"I like her sometimes, you know. Anyway, don't get cross, but we've set you up on a date."

"What? For the Order?"

"No, stupid. For fun."

"Oh." Remus didn't look angry, as Sirius had expected; rather, he looked nervous. "Sirius, you should have asked -"

"-and you would have said no."

"Exactly." Remus sighed. "I can't go on this date, Sirius."

"Why?"

"It's complicated. How did you do it anyway? Sirius, swear to me you didn't leave the-"

"Do I look mad? Of course not. Molly did the actual arranging, I voiced approval," Sirius said.

Remus shook his head. "So we both know her? Is she someone from Hogwarts?"

"If I told you, I'd give it away. Just trust me, mate. You're to meet her at a place called Shell Cottage - Molly's family owns the place."

"So I wouldn't be under pressure to pay."

That had, in fact, been their reasoning; Sirius should have realized Remus would take no time to figure it out. "Well, yeah."

"Look," Remus began, "I appreciate your efforts, if not the pity" (Sirius cringed) "but - I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline."

"Decline? Moony - if it's about the money, fine, we'll rearrange it."

"No, it's not just that."

Before Sirius could ask exactly what it was, Tonks came through the front with Molly and Hestia, who looked as disappointed as Sirius felt.

"Wotcher, Remus, Sirius," Tonks said.

"Dora-" Hestia began.

"It's okay," Tonks told her. "Remus, can I have a word with you?"

Remus nodded. "We'll talk about the - thing later, Sirius."

The two of them strode off, and Sirius looked at Molly and Hestia.

"Did Tonks refuse too?" Sirius asked quietly.

"Yeah," Hestia said. "Her reaction was so strange. I thought she'd be excited, but it was like we were trying to coerce her into some horrible... betrayal..."

"So did Remus," Sirius said.

Something occurred to him, and he could see Hestia was thinking the same thing. Molly, however, still had the same look of disappointment and perplexity on her face.

"Come with me," Sirius whispered, and he ushered them to the closed kitchen door.

"Oh, we mustn't eavesdrop!" Molly moaned.

Sirius grabbed the extendable ears the Weasley twins had given him. "Here you go. Fred and George - left them," Sirius lied as Molly raised her eyebrows.

"They better have," Molly said. She put on an ear grudgingly. "I don't like this..."

But she pressed her head to the door a little too eagerly.

"We have to tell them," Tonks was saying.

"Dora-"

"-we don't have to tell everyone we know. But we can't keep lying to our friends. Just today, Molly and Hestia tried to set me up on a blind date!"

"Wait - they what?"

"I said no, of course. I'm sure he's a nice bloke, but he's not you."

Sirius's eyes widened, and Hestia's hand was covering her mouth. Molly let out a quiet "goodness!"

Remus didn't say anything for a minute.

"Remus? Why aren't you saying-"

"-he is me."

"Don't go on about how-"

"Dora. Sirius just told me he and Molly set me up on a blind date."

"But - oh."

"Oh, indeed."

Tonks laughed. "Well, that's a sign, isn't it?"

"I daresay it is, yes."

Sirius, Hestia and Molly speechlessly took off their ears.

"Well," Molly said, "I suppose we learned a lesson about meddling."

Sirius nodded. "More importantly, they never needed our help."


	2. Lyall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This section is based on Pottermore's Remus backstory. If you haven't read it, Lyall is Remus's father.

_25 December, 1995_

Remus sometimes came for Christmas brunch. He'd never brought a girlfriend.

Christmas wasn't a big to-do in the Lupin family, not since Hope's death. Lyall's parents, who lived in Germany with his brother, sometimes dropped in, but they were far from joyous occasions. Lyall got on with his brother (who happened to be Remus's namesake) enough, but when Remus had been bitten, his parents acted as though Remus was a walking tragedy, almost mourning him when they were together. They couldn't simply see him as the same Remus they'd loved and adored before the bite. Sometimes Lyall thought it would have been better had they just disowned them and left them in peace, rather than exposing Remus to a false sense of acceptance. So they'd spent Christmases alone, and once Hope died, decided drop the charade altogether. Therefore, Christmas brunches and dinners were very rare.

Still, Lyall had been happy when Remus asked if he could bring his new girlfriend for brunch, and was quick to bring out the decorations and nice silverware.

He wondered who this woman was; all Remus had told Lyall was that she was in his Order, and they were trying to keep it fairly quiet ("given the state of the Ministry"), but still wanted loved ones to know. Lyall envisioned her as being quiet but friendly, much like Remus himself. In his mind she had soft sandy hair, which she wore in a bun.

Lyall was not expecting a woman in her twenties with pink hair to turn up with his son.

"Hello," Lyall said as he extended his hand, hoping he didn't sound too surprised. "I'm Lyall."

"Wotch - hello," the woman said, smiling.

"You can say 'wotcher' to him, Tonks, he's not that much of a fuddy-dud," Remus assured her.

They both laughed.

"As you can tell, this is Tonks," Remus said. "Well, her full name's Nymphadora-"

Tonks grimaced.

"-but she prefers her surname. Dora if you absolutely must."

Remus took Tonks's coat, and hung it on the modest coat hanger by the door. Tonks was wearing a white shirt, red trousers and Christmas tree earrings. Lyall wasn't sure quite what to make of it; it made her seem so young.

But what really mattered was his son; Lyall hadn't seen him since he'd shown up at his doorstep six months prior to deliver the terrible news about You-Know-Who's return. Remus didn't look as thin, but his clothes were still too shabby, and Lyall didn't like to see that his son's hair was prematurely greying, although it had been doing so for some time now. Or so Lyall thought; their meetings were so scarce anymore, it was hard to know sometimes what was new and what he'd just forgotten.

"How are you?" Lyall asked Remus.

"I'm well. Busy."

"And Sirius?"

"What about him?" Tonks asked sharply.

"He knows almost everything, remember?" Remus reminded her gently. Tonks relaxed visibly. "Sirius is... he's okay."

"I wish Dumbledore would just let him stay with Mum and Dad," Tonks muttered.

"And I'm sure they'd welcome Kreacher along."

"Who's this... creature? And where is Sirius hiding instead?" Lyall asked.

Remus and Tonks exchanged a look.

"We can't tell you that," Remus said. "Remember?"

"But-"

"-it's for your safety. And his. We'll find Pettigrew eventually, though."

Lyall's memory flashed back to the boy who'd come to his house on several occasions. What had happened? And how was it that only two years prior, he'd felt that way about Sirius? That was what no one, not even Remus, had ever understood - he had cared very much about those boys, almost as though they were his sons, too. It was why it hurt so much that he couldn't reach out to Sirius.

"Is someone there with him now, at least?"

Tonks nodded. "Harry and the Weas-some others."

"Weasley!" Lyall remembered now. "That was the other question I had - do you two know how Arthur Weasley is? I heard about it from Peasegood yesterday."

"I've heard he'll be okay," Remus replied.

"It was related to You-Know-Who, wasn't it?"

"That's certainly possibly," Tonks replied quietly.

Remus cleared his throat. "Shall we open presents now?"

"Oh - yes."

Lyall led them to the small family room; a small tree was next to the bookcase, and he'd moved some chairs to be closer to it.

Lyall had bought Remus a pair of robes and the 8th edition of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which included information on an upcoming Wireless series based on the books. Tonks had bought Remus a book on the history and study of magical underwater creatures. Remus had bought Tonks a Wyrd Sisters t-shirt, which Tonks thanked him for excitedly five or six times before kissing him. Lyall knew it wasn't as extravagant a gift as a young woman might hope for, but he wasn't sure she was being generous - her excitement seemed genuine.

"Here you go," Tonks said, handing Lyall a large gift bag. "From both of us."

The first present was a pair of shoes; the second was a green watch with a Grindylow swimming around the face.

"Sirius, Tonks and I arranged that part," Remus said.

Lyall laughed. "Of course you did. Thank you," he added, giving Remus and Tonks equally tentative hugs. "Speaking of time, brunch should be ready in about half an -"

He was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"I'll be back," Lyall said. He opened it; to his utmost horror, his parents were on the front porch.

"Mum? Dad?"

Lyall didn't have to glance into the family room to know the expression on his son's face.

"What's wrong?" Lyall heard Tonks whisper.

"Is that any way to greet your mother?" Agnes Lupin helped her inside, Lyall's father, John, following.

"Of course not," Lyall said, giving them hugs. Agnes's perfume was as strong as always. "Merry Christmas. What brings you two here?"

"Had matters to attend to," John explained. "So we thought we would drop in. We won't be long, though."

"Good ... thing we were all home," Lyall finished. "We were just opening presents in the family room."

When he led them in, Remus and Tonks were standing. Tonks seemed to be reassuring Remus of something.

"Oh, Remus!" Agnes gasped, her eyes wide. "What a surprise!"

She paused, then hugged Remus quickly.

"And who is this?" John asked, looking at Tonks.

Agnes, meanwhile, was focused on Tonks's pink hair, her lip curling. Clearly she did not approve.

"This is Tonks," Remus told her. 

"Wotcher," Tonks said with a grin.

"What?" Agnes looked confused, but then she laughed. "Oh, you're trying to speak German!"

"No," Tonks said, "Wotcher just means-"

"It's very sweet of you, dear, but John and I aren't German. We speak perfect English!"

"You moved there to be closer to Remus's uncle, right?"

"Yes. When he and his wife had children, well, we couldn't take being so far from them... Remus was older by then, too," Agnes added quickly, her eyes shifting. "Already at Hogwarts."

"Not quite yet," Remus corrected her. "I'm just a few years older than Max and Marta."

Lyall shot his son a warning look.

"I regret to say this," Remus continued, "but we actually need to-"

"-eat!" Tonks finished loudly. "Honestly, the food should be ready by now! Why don't Remus and I check on it for you, Lyall? Give you a bit of a break?"

Tonks grabbed Remus's hand, and Lyall could hear them whispering as they hurried away.

"She's awfully rude," Agnes said.

"Remus seems fond of her," Lyall told her.

Agnes shook her head sadly. "It's no matter, I doubt it will last. That's how it goes for people with his... condition. It's such a tragedy, he could have had a family by now. You could have grandchildren."

"We're happy enough."

John sighed heavily, as though lost in deep thought. "Oh, but how it feels when a grandson tugs your beard..."

"You haven't got a beard, Dad. You've never had a beard."

"...but at least he seems happy, in his way. Do you know if he's received the money we sent?"

"You still send him money?"

"Of course! We know he must have trouble finding work."

Well, that explained how Remus was managing to survive on so little. Lyall knew, however, how much his son must have hated needing to take it.

"I expect he has," Lyall said. "But he's been busy."

"Does he have a job now, then?" John asked.

"Something like that. Enough about him, how's the elder Remus?" 

"He's doing very well! He's going to be a grandfather himself."

"So I hear."

"But it's not for everyone," Agnes assured Lyall.

"You know," Lyall said, "who's to say Remus won't be a father?"

"Well, I certainly don't think he'll be one with that woman," Agnes said with a laugh. "She has pink hair and makes up German words!"

"I think 'wotcher' is quite English, actually," John said fairly.

Lyall felt a rare rush of gratitude towards his father.

"Besides," John added, "Remus isn't exactly normal himself, is he? It's not like any normal girl-"

The gratitude quickly turned into anger, but just as Lyall was about to expel some very harsh words, Tonks's voice announced that brunch was ready.

Still hot with anger, Lyall stormed into the kitchen.

"You don't have a dining room, dear?" Agnes asked in a syrupy voice.

"No, I don't, remember? It's a small house." 

"Oh. That's all right, then." 

They sat down and helped themselves to the food. With an extra two people, there was barely enough, but at this point, Lyall was more worried that either he or Remus would say something regrettable.

"So, tell me," Agnes asked Tonks, "how did you two meet?"

Remus and Tonks exchanged a look.

"I was walking a dog," Remus said.

"And the dog reminded me of a dog from my childhood," Tonks added.

"Which worked out well, I was working out a reason to talk to her."

"I was working out a reason to talk to him..."

And somewhere in there, is the true story, Lyall thought. From the looks they were giving each other, it wasn't so far off.

"How lovely," Agnes said. "So what do you do for a living?"

"I'm an Auror."

"Are you really?" Agnes did not bother to mask her skepticism. "What do they think of - er - pink hair?"

"They're... fine with it?" Tonks sounded stymied, for once.

"Dora, dear," Remus said, "don't be modest. You told me how clever they found it!"

"What - oh. That they do."

"Yes. You should see her at work, for her age she's exceptional. I'd hate to get her in a bad way, though..."

Tonks swat at him playfully. "You're about to if you go on like that!"

Remus smiled.

"Well, I'm so happy Remus has found you," Agnes said. "So many women have turned away as soon as they realized what he was!"

Lyall stared at his mother. Was she trying to test Tonks's knowledge as some warped form of protection? If so, who was she protecting, exactly?

And _did_ Tonks know?

Tonks raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Gran!" Remus was very agitated now. "That's enough."

"I'm only saying, you're lucky to have such an accepting girlfriend who doesn't mind your condition... I can't say I would have had the same class at her age."

Tonks was shifting in her seat.

"Actually," she said quietly, "I do mind."

Lyall was ready to shout, or perhaps quietly show Tonks out the door, but she wasn't finished.

"Remus," Tonks said, turning to him, "I didn't know how to tell you this, but the condition of your bookshelf... it's a nightmare!"

Remus, who was clearly recovering from panic, managed a playful grin. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I thought hints were enough!"

"What do I need to do, then?"

"I get it," Agnes snapped. "I wasn't asking for your cheek. I was just making sure you loved my grandson despite his being a werewolf."

"I think you owe your grandmother an apology," John told Remus.

"Can I speak with you two outside?" Lyall asked his parents.

But Remus had stood up. "No. I can take care of this. Granddad, I'm not apologizing to Gran. If anything, you two owe _me_ an apology. How dare you visit - or rather, briefly drop by like two strangers because you happened to be nearby - and put the woman I love to some sort of sick test? Is it really so hard to believe that I might actually be happy? Or is it easier to accept me for who I am if you're sad for me?"

"Well, can you blame us?!" Agnes exclaimed. There were tears in her eyes now. "Whenever I see you, I think about the baby boy i held, how promising your future was..."

"-you're a disgusting cow," Tonks blurted. "He's still the same baby boy you held, and if you can't see that, then we should be feeling sorry for you."

She looked stunned at her own outburst. Remus had put his hand on her shoulder.

"Well? Aren't you going to defend me?" Agnes asked him.

"We just went over this," Remus said coldly.

"I think it's time to go," John shot back. "Happy Christmas."

Before Lyall or Remus could stop them - not that they were particularly inclined to do so - Agnes and John had disapparated.

"I'm so sorry," Tonks moaned. "I was just trying to-"

"-no," Remus interrupted. "You were brilliant. I got to say the things I'd wanted to say for a very long time."

"Besides, they were ruining the very nice brunch I'd planned," Lyall finished.

Remus put his arm around Tonks, and she leaned into him.

Lyall didn't know who this strange pink-haired woman was, what her secrets were, what their secrets were. But maybe she was just the one Remus needed .


	3. Kingsley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I tried to stick as close to JKR's timeline for the end of OoTP as possible, but it may not be perfect due to my math being even worse than our Jo's.

_January-June 1996_

 

The cry came in the form of a Patronus; it was Sturgis Podmore, who feebly moaned, "Kingsley, I've hidden myself in the wands room. Dementors escaped... Death Eaters... scared. Help."

Sturgis being one of Kingsley's close friends, he wasted no time.

Kingsley came up with a reason to visit with Tonks and Scrimegour, and when they arrived, not a Dementor was in sight, although it took them no time to find Sturgis. The next several hours were spent interviewing anyone with possible connections to the escapees - including Tonks's own parents. Kingsley said that he would find a place for Sturgis (whom he pretended to hate for betraying his trust, Kingsley being an Auror who'd thought of Sturgis as an upstanding man), and promptly whisked him to Order Headquarters.

What followed was a somber Order meeting. Emmaline hugged Sturgis, showing more emotion than she ever had in the many years Kingsley had known her. Hestia wondered aloud if this would convince her parents that You-Know-Who was back. Tonks returned from her parents' house, looking miserable.

"Mum's in hysterics," Tonks said as she slumped into a chair. "Thinks Auntie Bella's going to come for me or Dad."

"The Lestranges have no shame," Remus spat, "escaping after what they did to the Longbottoms."

"Are they related to a Neville? Ginny's got a good friend named Neville Longbottom," Arthur said.

"His parents," Moody replied, sounding distant.

Both Molly and Arthur looked horrified.

"I never made the connection," Molly gasped.

"Not the reunion I'd expected," Sturgis joked feebly.

"It's never what you think," Sirius said. "Just don't break into Hogwarts like I did. Won't do you any favours."

"Speaking of which," Kingsley said to Sirius, "I should warn you..."

"Let me guess, I'm the perfect scapegoat?"

"I'm doing my best-"

"-then try harder!" Tonks demanded. "If they think it's Sirius, they'll press on trying to find him, and they'll never listen if they do!"

"He _is_ trying," Hestia retorted sharply. It was the only time Kingsley had ever heard Hestia be short with Tonks.

"They're not going to find him," Remus told her. "He's safe here."

Tonks looked back at him, clearly unconvinced.

"She's right," Sirius said darkly. "I don't know how much longer I can take this. If Bellatrix gets close to Harry-"

"-he'll be safe at Hogwarts," Molly said firmly.

"Was he safe at Hogwarts last year, when Crouch sent him to the graveyard? How about the year before that? What if I really had been a murderer? Harry was a short scrawny thirteen year old boy, yet completely set on taking me on. What if Peter had decided to kill again right then and there? We all know it's just a matter of time before Harry's lured into danger, and I'm not going to sit idly by when he is."

"Like hell I'm going to let you do that," Tonks said.

"What do you care, anyway?" Sirius retorted.

"Because I just got you back!" Tonks cried. "You think I don't remember you from when I was little? No, we never met much, but when we did... I worshiped you. You'd let me sit with you on your motorcycle, and I'd feel the air rush past me as we flew up as high as my Mum would allow - which is to say, not very, but it didn't matter to me because I was doing something with you. When I found out you were innocent, thanks to Remus, I got that feeling back. And as soon as your innocence is known, we are going on another motorcycle ride. But that can't happen if you're stupid. Okay?"

Sirius was staring at Tonks.

"I don't have that motorcycle anymore," he said flatly.

"That's not the-"

"-I know." Sirius's voice was softer than Kingsley had ever heard it. He stood up, and to everyone's surprise, gave Tonks a hug and rubbed her back. "I know. I miss the motorcycle too. And I want to teach you and Harry how to drive one, so that will be my first purchase the second they clear my name."

Tonks nodded, and Kingsley knew she was holding back tears. He also knew that with Dumbledore's absence - _why_ was Dumbledore so often absent? - he had to speak.

"Listen," Kingsley began, and everyone looked at him. "Times are hard, and right now, we have a crisis. We have to stick to the plan, and we have tro trust one another, now more than ever. I know what the Death Eaters do. What Bellatrix Lestrange does, and what she destroys. We cannot let them destroy us."

The Order drew closer together after that. They became a strange sort of family, with Moody as the crazy uncle and Hestia and Tonks as the younger sisters everyone protected. Although that metaphor didn't work so well the one time he walked in on Remus and Tonks snogging. Perhaps, he decided, surrogate families didn't need traditional titles and equivalents. They were what they were. Soon most meetings went late, turning into social events, with food and games. One time they played a drinking game using Tonks's morphing abilities; they woke up to a very disapproving Molly Weasley yelling at them to stop sleeping on the floor, that it was lunchtime, for heaven's sakes. Tonks was the only one without a headache, although her face was very sore.

There were serious moments, too, like the time Tonks morphed as Bellatrix trying to prove the Malfoys were up to no good, Remus, Bill and Hestia hiding outside the Malfoy Manor. Unfortunately all three of them were caught, and Kingsley wasn't sure how they'd managed to escape alive. Tonks's only regret was that they hadn't made any arrests. Sirius's only regret was that he hadn't been there.

"I wish I had a way to get to Narcissa myself," Sirius muttered as Remus comforted a frustrated Tonks. Kreacher cackled, and Sirius promptly threw him out of the room.

The cackling would haunt Kingsley for a very long time, but nothing would haunt him more than what happened two months later:

It was supposed to be a nice supper. Moody and Kingsley stopped by after an early work shift; Tonks was there because if she wasn't alone with Remus, she was usually at Grimmauld Place with Remus. Tonks had just tripped over her own feet and was being lovingly teased when Severus Snape turned up.

"Severus?" Kingsley stood. "What brings you here?"

Snape was peering at Sirius. "So you're not being tortured."

Sirius's brow furrowed. "I wouldn't go that far, with you being here."

"This isn't the time, Black. Potter seems to think you're being tortured by The Dark Lord. He had a dream that you were in the Department of Mysteries. Or so I presume..."

"What?!" Sirius gasped.

"It's clear to me now," Severus said coldly. "It's a trick. I will alert Dumbledore at once."

"I have to get to Hogwarts," Sirius said as soon as Severus left. He made to run, but Remus and Tonks both grabbed his arms.

"You'll make things worse," Tonks said.

"I have to stop him - I have to -"

"-go to Umbridge, and get both of you sent away? He won't stand a chance if he's arrested, and you know it," Kingsley said. "There's Death Eaters waiting for that to happen, just as much as they're waiting to lure him into a trap at the Ministry."

"The real question is," Remus said, "is why the stupid boy wouldn't have Floo'd? Or used that mirror you gave him?"

"Did Harry ever thank you for the mirror?' Remus asked Sirius.

Sirius's face paled. "No..."

Kreacher was peering in from the doorway; Sirius grabbed his arm.

"Did Harry just try contacting you?"

Kreacher paused, then shook his head. "No, that boy did not just try contacting me."

"Don't leave this room," Sirius snarled. He looked at Remus, Tonks and Kingsley with a look of desparation as they left the now-locked room.

"Now what?"

"We're doomed," Moody grumbled.

"Moody!" Tonks hissed. "We're fine. Severus just needs to tell Harry that Sirius is okay."

"Then why haven't we gone home?"

"We have to wait for Severus's word."

They slumped down on the sofa. For once, Sirius was speechless; his eyes kept darting towards the door, then at Remus and Tonks, who were watching him fixedly. Finally, what felt like a century later, Severus returned.

"I've looked everywhere for him, to no avail. It seems Potter's yet again decided to play the hero."

"What are you saying?' Tonks demanded.

"I'm saying he's gone, most likely to the Department of Mysteries. He appears to have taken a few of his friends along, including the useless Longbottom boy." (Remus's eyes had widened, and he mouthed something to himself.) "It might have been hours, at this point, so if I were you I'd make a run for it."

"Thank you, Severus," Kingsley said.

"Tell Dumbledore to get Kreacher to talk," Sirius said to Severus. "I'm going to the Ministry."

"Sirius-" Remus began.

"Don't 'Sirius' me, Moony. What would you do? What would any of you do? He's risking his life for me. It's too late for me to hide and pretend we'll both be safer if I do. And anyway, if I weren't in hiding, you wouldn't hesitate to let me join you!"

Tonks was shaking her head frantically. "You're wanted-"

"-so is anyone currently at the Ministry! Don't you get it? This isn't about guilty or innocent or - or anything else anymore! And if you're honestly asking me to sit by and hum a tune... then you don't care about what I want at all."

"How dare you!" Tonks exclaimed, but Kingsley said at the same time, "he comes."

Everyone stared at Kingsley.

"We can't ask that of him," Kingsley said, "and anyway, we need all the help we can get. We're likely already outnumbered."

"Kingsley's right," Remus admitted. Tonks closed her eyes and nodded. Moody let out a resigned sigh.

"Let's go," Tonks said quietly.

Kingsley would later recall something Alice Longbottom had once told him while he was still being trained:

_"War means making hard decisions, Kingsley. Even if you try to do the right thing, that one right thing may end up destroying everything. And those moments... those moments are the ones you always remember as though they only just happened, the ones that will stop you in your tracks when you least expect. That's why you must remember what I am about to tell you: it was not your fault."_


	4. Andromeda

_July 1996_

They moved Headquarters to the Tonks home a few weeks after Sirius's death, concerned that with Sirius gone, the house would naturally go to Bellatrix. The only way to be sure was to have Harry test it, and Dumbledore insisted on waiting.

Andromeda was not an official member of the Order; during the first war, she and Ted hadn't known about it until Sirius joined, although unbeknownst to them, a few of their friends were in it. And this time around, Andromeda hadn't approved of Dumbledore dictating what Sirius did. She felt that he was taking it upon himself to decide for people, and it struck her as dangerous. Besides, neither Andromeda nor Ted were the fighting sort. That was their daughter, and they barely batted an eye when she joined.

Still, Andromeda felt she should do something. So when Dora told her the Order needed a new home, she gave them one. It was her way of being in the Order without having to be in the Order. Sometimes she even prepared tea for them. Andromeda insisted she wasn't being kind or generous - it was just the proper thing to do. The good feeling it gave her had nothing to do with it.

Or so she tried telling Ted. He laughed and said, "that's my stoic serpent." She told him to stop badgering her. In-jokes were their "thing," if they were the sort of couple inclined to have a "thing."

Andromeda could tell that the Order was suffering emotionally; they'd lost Emmeline just a month after the loss of Sirius. And Remus and Tonks hadn't recovered much at all; Andromeda knew that, because they were obviously trying very hard to act otherwise. Tonks was clumsier than ever, and Remus was strangely clipped about his feelings, even by Remus's standards. Andromeda knew they were both hanging by a thread, and it was just a matter of time before it came crashing down on them.

Perhaps that was also why she insisted the Order have a stable place to meet. Stability helped keep people together. Andromeda wasn't sure she understood why her daughter had to fall in love with a werewolf - it just seemed like a sure way to complicate her life, and being related to Sirius and Bellatrix had complicated it enough. But she liked Remus better as a person than the last bloke Tonks had dated. More importantly, she saw how happy he made Dora.

And yet it was clear their relationship, too, was hanging by a thread.

Andromeda had a feeling she knew what; for starters, their relationship had been founded on Sirius. He was their anchor, their cause, their means. No wonder they were lost. But it wasn't just that. Death tended to remind you of your own dark side. Andromeda had gone through the same thing she suspected Remus was going through. The problem of association, of knowing who you were a lot like. Even the day Bellatrix killed Sirius, Andromeda could hardly look in the mirror because she knew who was staring back, taunting her.

Remus took it a few more levels, however.

Andromeda and Ted were in the room when Dumbledore announced it. They'd just been passing through - maybe, though, the timing was intentional. Dumbledore probably suspected Remus hadn't told Dora. But she needed to know, and she needed her parents there for the news.

What a wise but stupid man.

"And lastly," Dumbledore began after reviewing something Andromeda had missed, "Remus has an announcement."

Remus looked at Dora, then at Dumbledore. "Er - can I -"

"Just tell us, Remus," Dora said wearily.

"I did want to tell you before. We'll talk more about it later, I promise."

Dora raised her eyebrows.

Remus stood up. "After this meeting, I will be going away for a while."

"What?" Dora stood up as well.

Severus was smirking. "Some noble journey to discover yourself, I suppose? Being a lone wolf now?"

"Actually, in a sense, I am," Remus replied.

"Remus, if this is about Sirius and Emmeline, we're hurting too!" Hestia cried.

Fleur nodded. "We 'ave a saying in French-"

Arthur interrupted her. "You shouldn't run away from your problems like this. I've been where you are, but it won't do you any favors if you wander away."

"It isn't about Sirius and Emmeline," Remus said with a sad smile. "Though I do appreciate you trying to keep me from isolating myself out of deep, emotional grief. No, I'm going on a mission. You all may have heard of Fenrir Greyback."

Everyone shuddered.

"I'm going to be spying on his pack."

Andromeda had not anticipated this development.

Dora rounded on Remus like a very angry vulture. "You're doing what?"

"Dora-"

"You can't do that! He bit you! He'll kill you!"

"I know what I'm doing. I can convince them how much I've suffered at the hands of humans..."

"You _are_ human."

"Not to Umbridge. Or Greyback, for that matter. He's convinced werewolves are super humans, as opposed to subhuman. There's rumours he's even attacking outside of Full Moons now."

Dora laughed. "And you're going to what, do the tango with him?"

"I'm going to spy and collect information."

"And... transform with them?"

"Yes. Dora, this is no different from the time you metamorphosed as Bellatrix and snuck into Malfoy Manor."

Andromeda couldn't stop herself. "Excuse me?"

"Not now," Ted whispered.

"It was one time, and I told you before the fact. I even let you come along!"

"And if I'd told you not to, would that have stopped you?"

"This is different, Remus, and you know it - or you would have told me. When were you going to?"

"When it was a good time."

"Which would be..."

"The night before I left," Remus admitted.

"Wrong answer, mate," Bill Weasley muttered.

"Dumbledore helped me plan this, and he knows what he's doing," Remus added.

"You said the same thing about Sirius!" Dora shouted. "Look how well that worked for him!"

Dora stormed off; Remus, for some reason, did not go after her, which infuriated Andromeda. How could he just stand there with his mouth half-open? Hestia and Molly both made to follow, but seemed to think better of it.

No one was looking at Dumbledore or Remus, so Andromeda took it upon herself to address both of them.

"Stop playing the martyr," She said thinly.

"Mrs. Tonks-" Dumbledore began.

"-you ought to leave. You and your little organization are only here on my invitation, which I have revoked for today."

"Very well," Remus said with a sigh. "I'm... very sorry."

Andromeda clucked her tongue in response.

When everyone had left, Andromeda went into Dora's old bedroom. It was the first time she'd noticed Dora had kept her old stuffed animals there. Dora was holding one of them, a stuffed unicorn she'd won for at a muggle carnival, but she wasn't crying. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Andromeda asked, sitting on her bed.

"He's been so distant lately," Dora said sadly. "I should have known he was doing something stupid."

"Speaking of which, how could you not tell me you pretended to be-"

"Please Mum, not now."

Andromeda closed her eyes. "Fine. I'll lecture you another time."

"I think he's going to end things between us."

"What makes you think that?"

"I read in _Witch Weekly_ once that if a man takes you for a walk in the park, he thinks you should just be friends. Tea at a diner, he's shagging a coworker, or your sister. He wants to have a conversation at night... he's fighting demons and think you'd be better off without him."

" _Witch Weekly's_ rubbish, Dora. You're smart enough to know that."

"So's _The Quibbler,_ yet a few months back it was the truest of them all."

Andromeda knew she'd almost done the same thing for Ted. No. To Ted. She'd known it wouldn't do much good; her family had already disonwed her, she'd burned those bridges long ago, and she needed him. He needed her. Andromeda couldn't hurt someone she loved so much like that.

But the thing that had always given comfort to Andromeda, when she'd questioned his relationship with her daughter, was how kind and brave Remus seemed.

The trouble with brave people was that they sometimes failed to understand that some things weren't meant to be sacrificed.


	5. Fleur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this is Fleur's POV, I decided not to write her accent. However, I did try and capture her voice all the same.

_Christmas Day, 1996_

Fleur had never really known what to make of Tonks.

Tonks was one of Bill's oldest friends, so Fleur wanted to like her. But then, she wanted to like his mother and sister too; look how well that worked.

But that had been the problem before; sometimes Tonks was too much for Fleur. She could be so overly eager, sometimes to the point where it seemed like a bit of a facade. Bill had once explained that it wasn't so much of a facade as it was a safety net.

"She does overcompensate for the negative, yes," Bill agreed, "but it's not all fake. She's been outgoing like that since I first met her."

"Why wouldn't she just say what she is thinking? That works for me."

Bill didn't seem to have a response for this, and Fleur knew what he was thinking and not saying.

But Fleur wasn't one to be silent, particularly when people needed to hear the truth. It had pained Fleur to pretend she believed Cedric had been killed in a freak accident; she'd remained silent for the Order's sake, Bill's sake, not her own. Now that she was able to say how she felt about the matter, she said it often.

Other things, however, had been left unsaid, and Fleur could see how it was affecting her friends. Because she did consider Tonks a friend; they'd yet to understand each other, but recognized, in their way, that they needed one another.

Or so they had until recently. Fleur rarely saw Tonks outside of Order meetings anymore, and when she did, Tonks was harried and distant. She'd even stopped changing her hair colour; that had been one thing Fleur really liked about Tonks. Flawless beauty was a convenient attribute, but being able to change your looks was more interesting. It hadn't taken Fleur long to understand the problem - Tonks still felt guilty over her cousin's death, and was very sad that Remus had "mercy dumped her," as she'd put it once.

It was no excuse for acting like a wet sock that had been repeatedly thrust into a muddy puddle. With that in mind, Fleur decided to go to Tonks's place.

Tonks lived in a muggle block of flats in Bristol; Fleur had only been there once, and didn't remember very much about it. She'd asked Bill for the address.

"I don't think she's up for company tonight," he said.

"That's a first," Fleur shot back sarcastically, and when Bill hesitantly wrote down her address, Fleur wasted no time.

Although muggles generally had to call in, the building - perhaps once tended by a wizard - had a special code. Fleur held her wand to the phone and said, "Nymphadora Tonks, please. Fleur Delacour, Order of the Phoenix."

After a minute, the doors opened.

When Fleur got to Tonks's flat, Tonks opened the door ajar before Fleur could knock.

"How did you meet Bill Weasley?"

"He was at Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament, and agreed with me that Cedric's death was no accident," Fleur recalled.

Tonks opened the door. "We need to find a less morbid code."

Fleur wanted to point out that Tonks's _flat_ seemed a little morbid. She had on nice muggle clothes, but a half-heartedly decorated Christmas tree sat underneath a window, and the small flat smelled of burnt cookies.

Fleur looked back at Tonks's gold shirt and black trousers. "Did you end up visiting family? Molly said you were alone."

"Why would she say that?" Tonks shook her head. "I went to brunch with my parents and Dad's family earlier today. Not that it's anyone's business. What brings you here?"

"You have not exactly been bringing yourself anywhere."

"I've been busy," Tonks said. "Some days I have to work sixteen hour shifts, not including paperwork and Order duty..."

Fleur waved her hand dismissively. "The real problem is that you've hit... hit..."

"Hit what?" Tonks looked amused.

"Rock bottom!" Fleur said excitedly as she remembered the phrase.

Tonks was less excited; her lips stopped twitching, and she folded her arms.

"I'm fine. I've told everyone that. I'm just... preoccupied."

"Let's sit down," Fleur suggested, and she helped herself to a chair at the kitchen table. With a sigh of defeat, Tonks followed suit.

Tonks started to say something, but Fleur interrupted her. "I usually find you annoying. You're like a yo-yo." Fleur used her hands to imitate one. "Boing... boing... boing..."

"Are you here to insult me, then?"

"No. I miss boing boing boing Tonks, as annoying as she was. She was cheerful, she didn't let anything get her down, and she was a good friend. But you did it so much, I think your string broke. Now you are always gloomy, you have turned down four invitations from Bill and I-"

"-as I said, I've been busy."

"You miss Remus."

"Of course," Tonks spat. "How would you feel if Bill dumped you and said it was for your own good, then ran off on some mission, and you might have no way of knowing he was in trouble, if he needed you? And when he was home and safe, didn't even bother to send a note?"

Fleur remembered when she thought she'd lost Gabrielle to the Grindylows. All that fear had been for nothing, she knew that now, but all the same...

"Helpless," Fleur said softly. "Utterly helpless and alone, even as my friends told me it would be okay, even as Dumbledore told me she wasn't going to drown. I couldn't hear them, really. I was just staring at the cold lake, unable to see what was happening yet knowing all too well at the same time."

"Are you talking about your sister? During the Second Task?"

"Yes."

Tonks reached her hand across the table. "I never realized how awful it was for you."

"Yes, well, it was. It is awful. And you have Sirius on top of it, and Emmeline, and having to look at Scrimegour every day."

They both laughed wryly at the last bit.

"That's definitely the worst part," Tonks joked.

She grew quiet, and drummed her fingers against the table. "I miss Sirius so much. Maybe now more than ever. He wouldn't have let Remus..." She cleared her throat. "How's Harry? We've spoken since, but I haven't really known what to say."

"That is a first."

"It's different now, y'know? Before, he was just possibly possessed by You-Know-Who." Fleur raised her eyebrows. "Now his Godfather's dead at my aunt's hands. It's complicated."

"Many of us weren't even there," Fleur pointed out. "How do you suppose that makes us feel?"

"It's our fault, we sprang into action without-"

"-doesn't matter. All of you could have been killed, and we wouldn't have known. And not even you were there when Emmeline was killed."

"How is that supposed to make me-"

"This war, and war is complicated. As an Auror, you should know that."

"I guess I never thought there would _be_ a war," Tonks admitted.

Fleur remembered when she was chosen as a Triwizard Champion. She would only have been a year or two younger than Tonks when Tonks had become an Auror... there'd been no war back then, and yet it was still so much more challenging than Fleur could have ever expected. Fearing for Gabrielle, Cedric's death... hearing so many people deny that her friend had been murdered...

"I think we need music," Tonks announced. At first Fleur thought Tonks was going to slip back into yo-yo mode, complete with knocking something over, but instead Tonks walked calmly to the wireless and turned it on. It was a fast Christmas song.

"Let's dance," Tonks said.

Fleur decided she might as well. She got up, and together she and Tonks danced around the room, waving their hands in the air and swinging one another around. It reminded Fleur of dancing the same way with her Beauxbatons friends.

Fleur and Tonks kicked in the same direction, and suddenly, they were toppling over one of the chairs; they both fell on the floor, took one look at each other, and burst out laughing. Fleur didn't even care that her hair was now messy again. 

"Here." Tonks helped Fleur up. "Well, I tried to be collected."

"You were fine."

Tonks smiled. "Thanks for forcing a little fun out of me." She checked her watch. "I'm afraid I have to call it a night, though. I was lucky enough to be scheduled for an early Boxing Day shift."

"Let us know if you can meet us sometime. Soon."

"At this rate, I owe everyone a million drinks, so I promise it will be soon."

To Fleur's surprise, Tonks pulled her into a tight hug. Fleur hugged her back.

"Happy Christmas," Fleur told her.

"Joyeux Noel," Tonks returned.

When Fleur returned to the Burrow, Remus and Bill were the only ones still up.

"Where'd you disappear to?" Remus asked with a smile.

"Tonks's," Fleur replied.

Remus shifted awkwardly. "Oh. How was she?"

Fleur looked at Bill. "Can I speak with Remus alone?"

Bill nodded. "I should go to bed early anyway..."

Fleur turned back to Remus once Bill was out of the room. "First, exactly what happened between you and Tonks is none of my concern. But you should know it is not easy for me, either."

"What?"

"I am a Veela, Remus. Yes, it means I am extraordinarily beautiful..." for some reason, this made Remus laugh. "But I am also distrusted by other women. And don't think there are not people who consider me a half-breed, or assume I'm a loose woman, at best. It's not what werewolves have to deal with, but it's not nice, and it does not make my relationship with Bill easy. I could make things either for both of us, and leave. His mother and sister would be thrilled." Fleur swallowed. "But I will not, because I love him, and he loves me, and when you love someone, you follow them through fire if you have to."

"It's different for me, Fleur. I-"

"-I know, I've heard it. We have all heard it." Fleur snorted in disgust. "Tonks is boing boing boing, you are blah blah blah, and everyone thinks _I_ am the annoying one."

"I should go," Remus said, and Fleur could hear he was on the verge of an angry outburst. Or melodramatic anguished sobs; she wasn't sure which. Both were equally unappealing.

"Just one thing." Fleur grabbed Remus's hand. "I stayed at Hogwarts a few months after you left... for the tournament, you know. Your name came up quite often. What good professor you were. The best professor they'd ever had, some said."

Something in Remus's eyes flickered. "Why... are you telling me this?"

"Because I can tell you need..." Fleur struggled with the English word. "You need to be more sure of yourself. I'd give you some of my confidence, but there is no spell for that."

Fleur stood up, and kissed Remus on both cheeks. "Happy Christmas, Remus. And thank you again for the book you gave me on veelas in Great Britain. I am sure I will love it."

When Fleur got into bed, Bill was waiting for her.

"Do you think they're okay?" He asked.

"Not yet. But they will be." 

Bill turned off the lights, and Fleur sank into the sheets. After a moment, she realized she needed to know something, and it had to be now.

"Bill?"

"Yes?"

"No matter what happens in this war, I will stand by you. It is all worth it. You do know that, right?"

"Of course," Bill muttered sleepily. "And I will stand by you, too. You are the love of my life."

Fleur smiled, and touched his face as she, too, began to nod off.


	6. Ted

_June-September, 1997_

It wasn't easy for Ted to accept that his daughter had eloped. He understood - of course he understood. War meant there was no time to be wasted, and anyway, it was fitting. Dora had never liked big to-dos. That was why she had kept her relationship with Remus secret for so long.

Well. Among other reasons.

They'd thrown a reception of sorts for Dora and Remus, inviting mostly Order friends. Those were really the only friends either of them had, although a friend or two from Dora's Hogwarts days attended as well. Dora certainly seemed happy, from where Ted was standing; so did Remus. 

"Ted? Are you in here to help or stare?" Andromeda barked.

"Sorry, 'Dromeda," Ted said, and he quickly helped Andromeda dry the dishes. "Well, I guess our little girl's married now."

"Are you upset that she didn't invite us?"

"When we had our small wedding, we at least invited Alice, Frank and Sirius. There were more risks in doing so."

Andromeda shrugged. "I would have been fine with _not_ doing so. And personally, I'm just glad she and Remus have made amends."

"Me too," Ted said a little too loudly.

Andromeda frowned."Do I sense a 'but' there?"

Ted hesitated. "It just seems such a bad idea right now. I've caused enough trouble as it is."

"You've caused trouble? Ted-"

"-Andromeda. The moment you married me, I put a permanent marker on this family, and you know it."

"I don't know what you're saying, but I sure as hell don't like it."

"What I'm saying - and it pains me - is that now Dora has added to it."

"I know." Andromeda took Ted's hands. "I can't deny I've thought about it, too. What I did to you. It goes both ways, Ted... I almost left, you know. Seeing what Dora went through, I'm glad he came back, I'm glad didn't leave all those years ago myself and hurt you the same way, but..." Andromeda stopped. "Watch her, Ted. She's so happy."

Ted looked out the window again; Remus and Tonks were dancing together now, alone yet in the presence of their dearest friends. Just like he and Andromeda once had.

But would it be worth it?

Ted tried not to let his concern show; he loved Remus, and he didn't want his son-in-law to know how he felt. However, it got slightly harder when he and Andromeda were interrogated for several hours in their home. 

It didn't help that Bellatrix was the interrogator.

"Come on, sissy," Bellatrix simpered as Andromeda panted on the floor. "Where's my dear niece and her half-breed husband?"

Ted reached for his wand, but Bellatrix kicked it out of the way. What was worse, however, was Andromeda's anguished cry: "Leave them alone!" He'd never heard her so vulnerable before.

"I'm the threat," Ted told her. "Just let her go, and do whatever you want with me."  
"NO!" Andromeda screamed.

Bellatrix smiled. "Oh, this isn't the worst, my widdle mudlood bwuther." She stroked his face. "Now tell me where they are."

"Bella, it's me," Andromeda moaned; she was grasping at anything she could think of now. "We're sisters. Remember the doll house we had? No one was allowed to touch it, not even Narcissa. We made Mum get her one of her own so we could keep it for ourselves. You have to remember that."

Something in Bellatrix's eyes flickered, but she remained still.

"I know the old you is still in there somewhere."

"The old me?" Bellatrix laughed loudly. "There was no 'old' me. I only played with you because Mum made me. I didn't even like that house nearly as much as you did."

"Then you would have let Cissy play too. You're telling the truth about not liking it as much as me, though. I was your best friend. That's why you let me play."

"Shut up," Bellatrix hissed.

"You miss it, don't you? Isn't that why the time you broke in our house all those years ago, that was the only thing you destroyed?"

"What makes you think-"

"-who else would bother destroying a doll house?"

"You think I'm a softie at the core, don't you?" Bellatrix asked.

"You? No. I'm talking about my sister. You've met her. You can't escape her. Because you can never not have a bit of her-"

Bellatrix pointed her wand at Ted. "If I kill him, will you still think that?"

"It won't change anything I've told you," Andromeda said, though her voice was very shaky now. Ted's palms were sweating.

"AVA-"

Before Bellatrix could finish, there was a cracking noise, she flew into the air, then fell violently back onto the ground. A soft moan told Ted she was severely injured.

Dora and Remus flew inside, still in nice wedding outfits. Of course; Bill and Fleur's wedding was today...

They pointed their wands at Bellatrix, but she grabbed onto something - Ted didn't see what - and disappeared.

"A Portkey," Remus said matter-of-factly.

Dora looked shaken. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, we came as fast as we could, but they held us."

"We're fine," Andromeda said. "What's going on?"

Remus and Dora exchanged a look.

"Sit down," Dora said softly. "Things just got a whole lot worse."

The next few weeks were tense. Laws became stricter and stricter, and Ted knew it was only a matter of time before he was apprehended. He wondered if they only let him live undistubed because of Dora - with her abilities, she was an asset. They knew it made her easier to turn on them, but they all knew what the Death Eaters - Ted refused to call them the Ministry - were really hoping for. Fortunately, as soon as Dora's pregnancy (announced casually over lunch one afternoon) was further along, she planned to leave.

Ted found it harder to hide his uncertainty over their circumstances. He knew Remus sensed it, although they never spoke of it; this only made Ted feel horrible about himself. Ted was worried Remus was under the wrong impression, but how was what he really wanted to say much better?

Although Ted didn't know what had happened, one night Andromeda and Ted stopped at Remus and Dora's place to find Dora looking frazzled and Remus looking tired. They were not speaking, and when Remus tried to pull out a chair for Dora, she pointedly sat in one across the table. Ted had a feeling - knowing Remus and Dora's history - that it had something to do with Remus reading his concerned expressions and hearing the hesitant openness in his voice. That wasn't all of it; Remus had faults. Many faults. But Dora had mentioned Remus's own grandparents were similarly distant towards him, and Ted wondered if Remus wasn't reminded of that horribly awkward Christmas. Who would want to leave one lukewarm family for another?

After that night, Ted immersed himself in Remus and Dora's lives, and soon it wasn't a matter of trying - it became second nature. Remus became very dear to him. Ted knew Andromeda felt the same way, although ever the stoic serpent, she did not express such a sentiment.

But reality clouded everything; plans were made for them to go into hiding with Hestia Jones and the Dursleys, but setting up a new place would take time. In the meantime, Ted was to lay low, and memorize Remus's family tree. Ted knew, however, that it really wouldn't do much good. It hadn't worked for most people - the wizarding world was small.

Ted knew what he had to do.

He watched Dora, Remus and Andromeda eating one night, standing as far back as possible. He wanted that image in his mind forever. It might be the last image he ever had of them together. That night, he hugged Dora so tightly he thought he heard her gasp in surprise, and once he got upstairs, made love to Andromeda.

"I love you," he whispered as they looked into each other's eyes. "Never forget that."

Andromeda laughed. "Stop being so morbid. We're going to be fine."

"'Dromeda..."

"I know. I love you too."

Ted kissed her forehead. Once he was absolutely sure she was asleep, he made his way downstairs. To his surprise, Remus was waiting.

"I thought you left," Ted said in surprise.

"I came back. I knew something wasn't right... then I saw the note on the door. Ted, you can't do this."

"Ah, but I must, Remus."

"You don't understand... I almost made the same mistake... twice. What you're giving up-"

"-you're going to be the father of a baby boy. Neither of you will be marked for death. You won't fare any better, but how well were you ever faring?" Ted put a hand on Remus's shoulder.   
"I just want you to know one thing - I never cared, as I fear you suspected, that you were a werewolf. I merely had the concerns of a father."

"I realize that now. You don't have anything to prove to me."

Ted paused. "Have you ever read Les Miserables, or seen the musical?"

"No..."

"Do you know anything about it?"

"Hermione Granger told me a bit about it, but I don't see what that's got to do with this!"

"You're Marius, Remus. The young rebel jaded by war, yet still capable of loving a spritely young woman. She is my Cosette. Take care of her."

Perhaps knowing he had no other choice, Remus nodded and shook Ted's hand firmly. 

With that, Ted disappeared into the night.


	7. Hestia

_April 1998_

It had been a long several months.

Hestia was growing tired of hiding; and while the Dursleys were more and more tolerable, particularly Dudley, she hated having to tell Vernon she didn't know when they'd be able to go back. Nor could she stop the other inhabitants of Cyfrinach -a secret village few knew about, now the official Order Headquarters - from practicing magic.

There was some small comfort in being able to tell him to "go to hell" in Welsh, though.

"It means you're right," she'd lied to him with an innocent smile. Dudley gave her a sideways glance.

Then Hestia was joined by the ones she loved, and while she hated that it had to be that way, it was far less lonely.

First it was Remus, Tonks, Andromeda and Lyall, Remus's father. Hestia's own parents followed with Megan, who didn't want to go back to Hogwarts after being forced to watch the torture of a classmate. They'd come just in time for Christmas Day night, staying with the Tonkses. Megan had been reunited with her close friend Susan. Then came the Weasleys. Not to mention Kingsley tended to drift in and out; he was wandering, though, the official leader of the resistance. And of course Portkeys were set up between the other havens, like Shell Cottage.

It wasn't normal. But until the war was over, they had to make the best of it. And in some strange way, they did.

Hestia knew Tonks's baby was due any day now, and was glad for her friend of many years. She knew Tonks still hurt for her father - Hestia still hurt; she'd known Ted Tonks since she was eleven. It was still hard not to refer to him as "Mr. Tonks." Hestia couldn't even imagine Tonks's pain. But she was holding herself up well, and not in the false way she had when Sirius died.

"I have to tell you something," Tonks said one day. They were taking one of their many walks down the dirt road, past an old farm where sheep still roamed. A thousand years and so many wars and tragedies later, things were still intact. If that didn't give Hestia hope, she didn't know what could.

"Yes?"

"We've decided to make Harry the godfather."

"Oh," Hestia said. She felt a wave of disappointment; she wouldn't have been surprised if they'd chosen Bill and Fleur over her, but Harry? "Isn't he a bit young? And, well, absent?"

"The war has to end eventually. No one has gone to hell and back for everyone like Harry has. So should anything happen to us..."

Hestia gave her friend a look. "Dora. Don't talk like that."

"It's possible. We're hiding, but we're still going to fight. But I wanted you to know that had I not agreed that it should be Harry, I was going to ask you to be his godmother."

Hestia smiled. "I'm touched."

"You'll still be like an auntie to him."

"Of course. That child is going to be spoiled. I can't wait to be Aunt Hestia."

"You won't have to wait long," Tonks said. "I'm having contractions."

"Wh-what? We have to get back there!" Hestia gasped.

Tonks laughed. "We are getting back."

"We should run!"

"What's the rush? They're several minutes apart still."

Hestia shook her head, smiling bemusedly. "Never change."

It would only occur to her later that Tonks just wanted something to be done calmly and without panic.

It was several hours before Tonks began to go into labor; Molly, Andromeda and Phyllis, Hestia's mother, took over. Everyone else waited outside.

"It's just so quaint," Petunia Dursley said. "Why not go to a hospital?"

"She's in hiding," Hestia reminded her.

"There is a Healer coming, though?" Lyall asked. "As much as I hate to say it, she does have a point... there's dangers..."

"Madame Pomfrey will come once the baby's born... she's the only Healer affiliated with the Order qualified to deliver babies, and unfortunately it is not easy for her to get away for as long as the labor could take."

Lyall nodded. "Good... Madame Pomfrey used to take care of Remus, when he was at Hogwarts, you know. She seems stern, but damned if that lady doesn't have a good heart."

The labor, which had started just before dinner, went until lunch the following day. They received the news by Remus bursting out of the room, hugging Lyall tightly. From the look on Lyall's face, it had been a long time since his son had given him a hug.

"It's a boy," Remus announced. Hestia had never heard so much happiness in his voice.

"-REMUS! LYALL! QUICKLY!"

Remus ran back in the room, Lyall following. Hestia's heart sank with dread...

"Since when do babies have pink hair?" Hestia heard Lyall ask.

"He's morphing," Tonks replied. "He must have my powers... now it's green..."

Their voices grew quieter again.

"Well, that'll teach me to assume the worst," Hestia said.

A few minutes later, Andromeda came out. Her eyes were wet.

"It seems Teddy's inherited Dora's powers," Andromeda said.

"Teddy?"

"Yeah. We all decided to call him that ages ago, if he was a boy... after Ted, you know."

Hestia smiled. "I do." She gave Andromeda a hug. "I am so happy for you."

 

Hestia immediately saw a change in her friends.

Tonks seemed more purposeful, Remus more relaxed and seeming so much younger. They doted on their son constantly, even a little reluctant to let anyone hold him.

One day, two weeks later, Tonks and Remus decided to have a "friend-family picnic by that farm." The picnic included Hestia, Bill, Fleur, Charlie and Kingsley, who'd just recorded the latest episode of Potterwatch with Remus.

They sat on a hill across the farm, watching the sheep graze. Remus tenderly rocked Teddy's pram as Tonks sat beside him, her hair - blue today, like Teddy's - blowing in the wind.

"I think 'e 'as your nose," Fleur told Tonks. "But definitely Remus's eyes."

"Of course, it changes," Remus pointed out. "Though this does seem to be his natural face. His hair's dark though."

"I wish Dad had met him," Tonks said quietly. "And Sirius... although with Harry gone God only knows where, maybe it's for the..."

She frowned and began playing with the grass.

"It would be nicer if they were here with no war at all," Bill finished.

"I wish I could jus know when Teddy's going to be able to leave here," Tonks said, touching his cheek with her finger. "This place is all well and good, but what about Diagon Alley? Hogsmeade? Hogwarts? All the places we held dear?"

Remus put his arm around her. "The war can't last forever. We're going to win. And now, we have more reason than ever."

Hestia swallowed as she looked at Teddy. He was so young, so innocent... it wasn't right. None of this was right. But Remus had a point - if nothing else, they had to keep fighting so he could live in a world outside their quiet haven. Because Cyfrinach, as beautiful and pastoral as it was, wasn't home. And Hestia couldn't help thinking sometimes that they'd almost surrendered their homes to the Death Eaters. It wasn't really like that, she knew it wasn't, but it still bothered her sometimes.

No, they had to win the war. Sooner rather than later.

For now, however...

"Chess," Bill announced, appearng to have read Hestia's mind as he pulled out the board. "Who's with me?"

"I'll have a go," Tonks offered, already sounding much more cheerful.

Charlie, Fleur, Remus began to talk about a book Charlie had loaned Fleur, The Dragon and the Vampire. Fleur had just loaned it to Remus.

"It's the dumbest thing I've ever read," Remus said, "but I daresay that's what makes it entertaining. Please tell me it was meant to be stupid?"

"Unfortunately," Fleur said with a snort, "I don't zink it... was."

"You bloody-!" Tonks exclaimed from the other side of the picnic blanket. Bill was, as usual, beating her miserably.

Hestia and Kingsley exchanged a look and laughed. Then, Hestia pulled out a goblet, and began to hold her wand to her head.

"What are you doing?" Kingsley asked, sounding a little alarmed.

"I want us to remember this," Hestia explained.

Especially Teddy.


	8. Kingsley, Revisited

_May 1998_

Kingsley remembered when he'd first joined the Order. As it happened, it had been just before the war ended.

He had known Remus in school, but the Remus he met was different. Sadder. There were more stakes, he supposed, than there had been at Hogwarts. When the war ended and Kingsley saw Remus at the funerals of James, Lily, and Peter, Remus was more withdrawn than ever. He had the look, Kingsley recalled, of a man who'd just lost everything.

Kingsley understood that now.

Alice and Frank, still mad from the torture they'd endured all those years before. Sirius, gone before his name had been cleared, shock on his face as he disappeared behind the veil. Amelia, the crucial voice of reason in a corrupt Ministry. Emmeline, killed refusing to back down, because she'd never been one to do so. Sturgis, never quite right after Azkaban, then losing Emmeline - Kingsley's old friend was angry and bitter anymore. Dumbledore, so much more than anyone could explain. Alastor, who went with Mundungus so no one else might be left to die instead. Severus, the ally they'd given up all hope for. Remus, killed helping a former student fight Dolohov. Tonks, fighting her greatest adversary.

It was all well and good to be named Minister; Kingsley took the honour gladly. He could be a Minister. He could write and give speeches, push for new laws and regulations, get rid of barbaric ones, write up decrees to find the missing and assist those now without anywhere to go. Those were the things a Minister was to do, things that weren't easy, but were nonetheless workable because they had functions and means, a process which must be followed.

Being a person was much harder.

The funeral was respectful; because Dora - Kingsley could only think of her in terms of affection right now - was a Hufflepuff, they'd had the Fat Friar officiate. Andromeda and Lyall stood together, beyond words or tears. Harry was with them, eventually taking Teddy into his arms. Kingsley was sure he had heard Harry mutter "expecto patronum" as the grave was covered. They'd even managed a few laughs, which Kingsley was glad for -- that was what they would have wanted.

Still not the same thing as what Kingsley couldn't have.

Kingsley knew things would have to be returned, so he walked into the Auror office, and began to clear her desk. He was surprised the Death Eaters hadn't descrated it. A few new Aurors saw him, but said nothing. There was nothing to be said.

"Kingsley?"

Kingsley looked up; Hestia had walked in.

"I figured you'd need some help," she explained. Her eyes were red, and there were lines under them. Her usually pink-cheeked face was pale.

"I'm okay..."

Hestia laughed. "Really? You're okay? Kingsley... you've barely spoken to anyone, and don't you dare say it's that you're busy. Anyway, they were my friends too. Dora was one of the first real friends I ever had."

"I realize that. I'm very sorry."

"You don't have to be." Hestia sighed. "I heard they won the Order of Merlin."

"Lyall and Andromeda won't accept Remus's plaque, nor Dora's. They say it's too late."

"Can you really blame them, after everything the Ministry put Remus through?" Hestia asked.

Kingsley shook his head. "Not in the slightest. But Teddy should have them."

One by one small things were put in the box; old pictures, Dora's Auror certificate, Dora's Auror badge, paperwork, other miscellany. The last thing that caught Kingsley's eye was a picture of Remus and Dora around the time they would have first started dating, sitting in a couch laughing hysterically.

"That was them," Hestia said.

Thinking about Remus troubled Kingsley once more. Of all the people who understood what Kingsley was going through... Kingsley had never asked Remus how he did it without losing his mind.

"I think that picture's supposed to make you happy," Hestia joked wryly.

"It's just...." Kingsley stopped, and put the picture in the box. "I think we're done, here."

"Oh, no you don't. You may be the Minister, but you'll always be Kingsley to me. What's on your mind?'

"I just wonder how they did it. Especially Remus, losing all of his friends..."

Hestia took his hand. "It wasn't always easy, but they learned to let others in. They let one another in. That right there is a start."

Kingsley smiled, and stood with Hestia for a minute. He then picked up the box and head out the door with Hestia in tow, not intending to let her go far. Apparently she wasn't intending to let him fo far, either.

"I think you should keep the plaques," Hestia said suddenly as they got on the lift. "Then you can give them to Teddy yourself."

"Because I'm the Minister?"

Hestia rolled her eyes. "You're already that full of yourself? No. Because in the end, you were the one who shielded Sirius, who mentored Tonks, who was a dear friend to Remus, who led the Order in Dumbledore's absence before and after his death... I think Remus and Tonks would have wanted it to come from you."  
Kingsley was taken aback. "Thank you, Hesta. You're very wise, you know that?"

"Only wth the help of some friends," Hestia said with a sad smile. "Well, I must dash, I'm to meet Charlie, Bill and Fleur. I don't expect there to be many laughs, but... I need to be there. Don't disappear on me, okay?"

"I won't," Kingsley promised.

And he meant it. Because he knew that although they'd sometimes felt it, Remus and Dora had never been that alone; once they'd learned to open up to others, they'd understood how loved they were, by their family, by their friends, by one another. They wouldn't have wanted him to make the same mistakes, to withdraw from the people who cared for him.

So he wouldn't.


End file.
